Live Blogging Biden vs. Palin

We're at our apartment, with Edmund Fitzgerald, Blue Moon, a bunch of marshmallows and an eye on tomorrow. Or, um. The future. Gabrielle and Katharine join me in our down home take on the Most Important 90 Minutes of Your Entire Life.


9:32 B-Book it. Done.

9:31: K- I'm still boggling over Palin's closing comments. Blargh!

9:30: K- Joe Biden, it might be the beer talking, but I want to make out with you. Have I mentioned that?

9:30:K- Mainstream Media. Ronald Reagan. And she's quoting "Proud to be an American"????

9:29: G - OH NO KATIE COURIC HURT HER FEELINGS. I think my mom is trying to call Palin's office to set up a tennis date. BLUGH.

9:29: G - I love that movie.

9:28: G - THE GREATER GOOD! I wonder if Sarah Palin ever saw Hot Fuzz.

9:28: G - Ten bucks says Sarah's about to wink at me again. Here she goes.

9:27: G - Sarah Palin once made the mistake of choosing streamers over balloons for the senior prom. FAIL.

9:27:B- Hee hee. Number 2.

9:25: K- There's just something about Sarah Palin that presses my "SNARK" button and holds it down.

9:24: K- I'm just glad that he hasn't said anything completely offensive or vaguely patronizing.

9:24: K- Mmmmm, moral terpitude.

:24: K- Drunk. Kinda want to make out with Joe Biden.

9:24: John McCain is to Maverick as some retarded lie is to truth.

9:23: "MCCAIN IS THE MAN EVERYONE WANTS TO LEAVE." You're damn right, Sarah. First right thing you said all night.

9:22: G - MAVERICK! Everybody drink!

9:20: G - "What is your achilles heel?" is exactly what they asked in my job interview. I blacked out then, but I'm pretty sure I said something to the effect of "Sometimes I'm just too dedicated to my job and helping others and getting things done. I have a tendency to 'get the job done.' Also I'm a maverick."

9:18: B- Does Palin have a special needs child in Iraq.

9:17: K- Joe Biden, so hot! VP role, lay it out for us. ROWR!

9:15: K- Joe Biden: OSFDVPCILF. Hawt! Sarah Palin just said "tapping into," she wants to hit it as well. Also, Sarah Palin's flag pin looks like she bought it on QVC.

9:14: G - Joe Biden: VPILF

9:14: G - Palin sure is winking a lot. She must be scared. Agh she did it again. STOP. WINKING.

9:13: B: A shout out to third graders? At least she's speaking to people on their level.

9:11: K- DOGGONE IT???????? GOD BLESS HER, HER REWARD IS IN HEAVEN???? Is that a snide reference to his first wife who is, ostensibly, in heaven. THIRD GRADERS CAN'T VOTE!

9:10: K- Wasilla, AK: MILF capitol or Meth capitol? Also, I have no doubt that Joe Biden frequents the Home Depot in Wilmington, DE. I think I stood behind him in line to buy beer and cigs, that I then smuggled over the border to Pennsylvania.

9:09: K- I don't care what Ben says, I don't want to eff Sarah Palin, hot lesbian MILF or no.

9:08: B- Now we're on to what would happen if the Prez died. I'm pretty sure Palin's going to say "wet myself"

9:07: G - Also can I just say five years in a box is not my idea of real life experience. There.

9:06: G - What war did John McCain? Oh, the Civil War. OK. Cuz it wasn't Vietnam. ALL KINDS OF SIGHS.

9:06: G - Dark beer goes with chocolate. Light beer goes with marshmallows. YES.

9:06: G - Sarah Palin begs to disagree.

9:05: G - Bring it home, Joe! MCCAIN IS WRONG WRONG WRONG!

9:04: G - I keep expecting Sarah Palin to ask me to put up my tray and return my seat to the upright position.

9:03: G - Uh oh. Here comes Sarah. It's all about the great state of Alaska. That's really wonderful. Ya know, I used to want to take a cruise to Alaska, and now I never will. SAD SARAH SAD.

9:00: B- Biden says Nuclear correctly. Apparently he's the one who can talk. If you can't say it, you shouldn't be able to use them.

8:58: G - I want to buy Biden a drink and some fish and chips down the street at O'Bama's, my local Irish pub

8:57: G - I just want to say Biden is a BADASS for starting his sentences with "Gwen" instead of "Sarah." He must know he would sound condescending if he said ANYTHING directly to the cutesy wootsy pretend wannaba governor.

8:57: G - SHE WON'T STOP SAYING IT!

8:56: K- "Nu-cu-lar." Everyone drink!

8:55: K- MAVERICK! RESPECT. Oooh, "past is prologue." Joe Biden, that's profound. I'd buy him an Edmund Fitzgerald.

8:53: K- God, this Edmund Fitzgerald is delicious. Gabrielle says that Sarah Palin's voice reminds her of a flight attendant's: friendly but authoritative. Thanks for flying the friendly Straight Talk Express. Considering my mom was a flight attendant (and she's uber-Republican), the comparison is not lost on me. But I digress.

8:53: B- Biden and Israel. BFF!
8:51: B - SPAIN

8:50: G - Our friends and allies have also told Sarah to SIT DOWN, SIT DOWN, SIT DOWN.

8:49: G - Yeah I went there.

8:48: G - Sarah had a "good conversation" with her pal Hank Kissinger recently. They gabbed about .... woah RESPECT FOR WOMEN'S RIGHTS. Um. Look in the mirror lady. You are our own posterchild for the American Taliban. YAH I WENT THERE.

8:48: G - Downright naive. Downright dangerous. Downright MILF: The Sarah Palin story.

8:45: B-Iran vs. Pakistan. Can Palin pronounce things that don't involve downs syndrome, Alaska or hockey?

8:43: B-War funding debate. Everyone has voted against funding the war as it turns out. Why can't we all agree at the same time?

8:41: K- "Exit strategy" reminds me of a euphemism for bodily functions. Also, Joe Biden asserts that we will end this war, and Sarah Palin is LYING. LYING. Gah!

8:40: K- I think Sarah Palin keeps saying "straight up" as a subliminal message that we should all be straight. Also, I wish Joe Biden would say something about the states' involvement in talking about gay marriage, because there's a difference between saying your administration doesn't "support" it and saying that gay marriage isn't necessarily a federal issue. Which many people would agree with.

8:39: G - The crowd either just laughed or all just got shot.

8:38: G - Please stop saying straight up.

8:38: G - Sarah Palin is telling you straight up that she is insane.

8:37: G - Is Sarah Palin's husband gay?

8:36: G - I just found a hair in my noodles.

8:36: G - Woo equal rights for different sex couples!

8:34: B - Where's Palin from? Is it Alaska? It must be because her Alaskan lapel pin is above the USA flag. She must be a terrorist.

8:34: G - Barack Obama will invest not only in wind and water but heart, earth and fire!

8:33: G - Alright Biden, slow down. Don't get teachery. You're doin good.

8:32: G - Sarah Palin: Other countries don't care hard enough about the environment.

8:30: K- Hey, Sarah Palin, as a leader of the nation's only arctic state, how do you feel about polar bears eating each other?

8:29: K- Hi, this is Katharine. Gabrielle and I carried my gorgeous West Elm chair 6 blocks, then ran out to buy beer. Delicious. I also got a haircut today, and my stylist said that Sarah Palin's hair is "unprofessional." But she also said that she "feels bad for Sarah Palin." I don't feel sorry for Sarah Palin, not at all. Oh boy, climate change.

8:26 B - I don't think Palin even knows what the questions are..

8:25: G - Oh hi. Katharine brought her own chair. We brought 12 beers and will now begin drinking them as quickly as possible. Also I think Sarah Palin just winked at me and I am not comfortable with this.

8:24 Palin doesn't answer any questions.

8:20 Biden says McCain's health care plan is "the ultimate bridge to nowhere" snap girl friend.

8:17 Palin just accused Biden of being a Communist. She talked about his ideas of "redistribution of wealth." Welcome to the 1950's.

8:15 "I may not answer the questions they way you ask them..." Palin. They clearly didn't write out her talking points the right way.

8:13 Next time she says "Darn right" I'm gonna hit something.

8:10. I lose the bet. The first "Hockey Mom" referance comes only 10 minutes in. She's talking about the American peoples economic troubles like it's a kid with chicken pox. Awww!

8:08 Palin is trying to cover up for the "Economy is strong" gaffe from McCain just before the economy tanked. Jeez. It probably hurts to lie like that.

8:05 He's refering to Palin as Govoner Palin, she wants to refer to him as Joe. Jesus she's talking about the economy by refering to polling at a soccer game. Poor people can't afford to go to soccer games. Did you know that. She sounds a little shakey.

...Biden's up first. Economic Policy. He's cool and collected. I imagine Palin is fidgiting in the corner. We're starting with spacifics of Obama's plan. Cool and collected. It's the details that are going to get Palin.

8:03 The candidates meet. Palin "Hey can I call you Joe?" very folksy

8:01 Gwen Ifill. She's an eyeful. She's got a nice blue almost reflecty coat.

8:01 No, it turns out. I was wrong. There will be no men with tight pants.

8:00 Olberman "Good Night and Good Luck". He's comparing the debate to the the Giants/Patriots Superbowl. I assume it's because of the abundance of men with tight pants who will be flooding the stage.

7:59. Sitting alone at home. The menu? Noodles and rice. International fair..ish.